Relationship...
The word means a lot itself. The relationship can have a different meaning to different people but the consequences are the same, frustration, love, guilt, emotional harassment, etc...
The relation is defined as the link between the two members. The relations are of three kinds:
Family Relation
Friends Relation
Loved Relation.
The relationship is defined as the relationship between social members. It may be brother-sister, husband-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend etc. Now I am going to discuss here the pros and cons of the Boyfriend-Girlfriend relationship. But before that I am going to narrate a story from a motivating novel:
“Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day long ago the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus. The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. They had intuitively known that this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they had never felt before. The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together, and sharing together. Though from different worlds, they revelled in their differences. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behaviour patterns. For years they lived together in love and harmony. Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning, everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia selective amnesia! Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict.
REMEMBERING OUR DIFFERENCES
Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other. We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth. We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. We desire them to "want what we want" and "feel the way we feel." We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways-the ways we react and behave when we love someone. This attitude sets us up to be disappointed again and again and prevents us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences. Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result, our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict. Clearly recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically reduce confusion when dealing with the opposite sex. When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained.”
This whole conversation and the novel are great and the method of formulation of MAFMAWAFV (abbreviation for Novel Title) successful. Now as we know that women and men are different in their need, space etc..
Everything in men is a reflection of their values. Even their dress is designed to reflect their skills and competence. Police officers, soldiers, businessmen, scientists, cab drivers, technicians, and chefs all wear uniforms or at least has to reflect their competence and power. They don't read magazines. They are more concerned with outdoor activities, like hunting, fishing, and racing cars. They are interested m the news, weather, and sports and couldn't care less about romance novels and self-help books. They are more interested in "objects" and "things" rather than people and feelings. Even today while women fantasize about romance, men fantasize about powerful cars, faster computers, gadgets, gizmos, and new more powerful technology Men are preoccupied with the "things" that can help them express power by creating results and achieving their goals.
Women have different values. They value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting, helping, and nurturing one another. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They experience fulfilment through sharing and relating. Everything in women reflects these values. Rather than building highways and tall buildings, they are more concerned with living together in harmony, community, and loving cooperation. Relationships are more important than work and technology. In most ways, their world is the opposite of Men. They do not wear uniforms like the Men.
On the contrary, they enjoy wearing a different outfit every day, according to how they are feeling. Personal expression, especially of their feelings, is very important. They may even change outfits several times a day as their mood changes. Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals and success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfilment.
These are the differences between Men and Women. If one must be failed to recognize these differences, there may be some issue regarding Love, Understanding, Fed up, Getting Bored, and Reduction in taste etc.
Men are very different. They are more solution oriented. If something is working, their motto is “Don't change it”. Their instinct is to leave it alone if it is working. "Don't fix it unless it is broken" is a common expression. When a woman tries to improve a man, he feels she is trying to fix him. He receives the message that he is broken. She doesn't realize her caring attempts to help him may humiliate him. She mistakenly thinks she is just helping him to grow.
To summarize the two most common mistakes we make in relationships:
1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings.
2. A woman tries to change a man's behaviour when he makes mistakes by becoming the home-improvements committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism.
Next time you are frustrated with the opposite sex, remember men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Even if you don't remember anything else from this book, remembering that we are supposed to be different will help you to be more loving. By gradually releasing your judgments and blame and persistently asking for what you want, you can create the loving relationships you want, need, and deserve.
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